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Overheard on car lots every single day, all across this great land:

Sales Manager: " Where did those people go?" Salesperson: " Which people?" SM: " Those people that were back there checking out the (anycar)." SP: " Oh, they said they were just looking." SM: "Really. Did they talk to a manager before they left?" SP: " Well....no." SM: "You're fired."

Over the years, through millions and millions of car deals, generating reams and reams of car deal data, it has been determined by car dealerships that it is more cost-effective to alienate 85 percent of the people who are "just looking" in order to sell to the other 15 percent who will finally give up and buy after several hours of 'the process'. In other words, when you ask "where are the keys to my trade-in, I want to go home...", what they hear is " I need more convincing."

When most people are asked for their opinion of car salesman, the answer is often an unbroken string of obscenities. Even kindly old Granny, sitting there knitting a sweater for her cat, will fire a burst of profanity that could make the most battle-hardened Marine queasy. This is the result of years of conditioned responses from both buyers and sellers. The 'process' is so contentious that many folks will keep their cars long after they no longer want them rather than venture on to a car lot.

The fact is that it is an invasive procedure by nature--this information-gathering and credit-worthiness-determining--and when folks become aware that their comfort zone has been violated, and the rules that they live by the rest of the time in their lives no longer apply, they become less honest and less straightforward, as a kind of defense mechanism.

In 80-90 percent of car dealerships today, the salesperson you meet on the lot is much more of a tour guide than was the plaid-jacket-striped-pants-white-shoes stereotype of yesteryear. In fact, the salesman on the lot is probably the only person who wants you to be successful more than you do! He is also the one guy who probably CAN'T sell you the car. He has absolutely no idea what they will sell the car for, what your interest rate will be, or how much you can expect for your trade-in.

In the age of specialization, this fellas function is to get you inside and sitting down. Period. There is a well-known car biz adage that you talk about cars standing up and money sitting down. Of course, this makes perfect sense on paper, but very often the customer is so wary and on-edge that it is a difficult hurdle, and often requires the gentle persuasiveness that 'The Closer' typically lacks.

Once you are sitting down, the next person you will meet is 'The Closer', and he does not really care what your kids are named or where you work, what your hobbies are or how long you have been married. He wants to know how much effort will be required to put the deal down so he can move to the next one.

The fella who greeted you on the lot, that "nice young man"? He is hovering in the background, hoping all goes well. He is rooting for you to hold strong, to not get tired, to be happy with the trade-in amount they offer. He wants you to be comfortable and he wants you to be able to afford the car, but most of all...most of all, he wants you to BUY, because somewhere in the back of the office, out of the sight of customers, there is a chalkboard or a variation thereof.

This board contains the names of all the salespeople and the sales they have made that month, and there is nothing he wants in this world, nothing he needs in this world, more than some "chalk".