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A few years ago, you could not turn on the TV without being overwhelmed by yelling, preening , cartoon-ish car salesmen touting their "no money down, easy payments, we will buy your trade etc., etc." solutions to your every car need. That the principal target of most of these commercials was the credit-challenged buyer should come as no surprise, and the promises made by these enterprising shysters certainly seemed worth checking out to folks who had been previously turned down for car credit. And check them out they did, often resulting in the purchase of a vehicle they could never trade out of due to the combination of a rapidly depreciating 'asset' and a slowly maturing loan. They were so far 'upside-down' that only a huge cash down payment could possibly get them into another vehicle. Over time, these vehicles became less reliable, less safe, broke down, burned up...

After the internet car-info boom, these guys, these car-guy caricatures, diminished dramatically in number. Consumers became more educated and even more cynical and several states enacted laws specifically addressing the wording and disclaimer requirements for TV ads. And responsible dealers began to revise the way they train their employees and treat their clientele. Well, at least a little bit.

However, much as the cockroach has demonstrated that it will linger on earth after all other life ceases, there is a hard-core group of old-school car wheeler-dealers for whom the beat goes on uninterrupted. Why the law does not get involved in these blatant, overtly illegal and immoral practices will remain a mystery, but suffice it to say that money does talk. When California enacted it's Car Buyers Bill of Rights--the most comprehensive automotive consumer protections in the land--the key provisions applied only to used-car deals. New-car deals remained exempt. Seems the manufacturer-backed franchise dealerships have a more powerful lobby than do independent dealers. Go figure.

Recently I was watching one of these fellas in action, and thought it might be interesting to document the...um...mistakes. It's kinda like a Q and A game show that you can't play along with unless you are sitting about a foot from the TV screen and can read really fast.

I don't remember which part of the country I was in, but we have all seen this guy: 80 years old, plaid leisure suit, a cowboy hat and the self-assured smile of a consummate con artist.

" Just $95 dollars down gets you into any car on the lot...here is a 2005 [car] only 149 a month, here is a 2006 [minivan] only 169 a month, here is a..."

The (really) fine print? Each of the 5 or 6 cars advertised in this commercial required between $3300-4300 as a down payment and the loan terms ranged from 84 months to 87 months. 87 months? Yeah, an unlikely number, but one that results in the desired payment for the commercial. It is worth mentioning that while 72 months has become the most popular loan term for all car loans, the 84+ loan term is still rare and generally only available for the purchase of new cars--cars that will retain some value through 7 years of repayment. At least, that is how it works with all of the common financing options: banks, credit unions, finance companies, etc.

Additionally, the loans in this commercial are listed with interest rates ranging from 8.18 to 8.79--interest rates that only folks with spotless credit could qualify for on a used vehicle over an 84 month term, if they could get a loan term that long.

Finally, he ends with "we can finance anyone we want to, we have our own finance company..." Ahhhhh. Got it. 84, 87, 96, 108, 120 months. Just sign here and here.

Taken as a whole, this is stealing, not only from the consumer, but from other dealers. Even if the buyer leaves in anger after figuring out the scam, they have been robbed of the most valuable asset they have--their time away from work, time that could be spent with family or friends. So, what happened to "95 dollars down" ? Good question!

The only goal of car ads is to get you on the lot. Once there, the rest is easy for them, particularly when they are not hampered by any pesky moral or ethical issues. But what of the dealers who are trying to do good work, treat people honestly, make an honest living? Well, those buyers will likely never know about them because these commercials are heavy on the graphics: 2006! Low mileage! $149 a month! The dealers with 'normal' commercials-- honestly advertising their special pricing or financing deals-- can easily be lost in the noise.

This particular fella owns several new-car dealerships. Does this factor into the apparent lack of interest in policing these commercials? One could reasonably reach that conclusion...

When most medicines, over-the-counter or otherwise, are advertised on television, we will often hear 40 seconds of a one-minute commercial dedicated to listing the possible negative affects of using the product. Yet here is a situation where the result of making a mistake due to erroneous or misleading information can be years of crushing negative equity and a very measurable diminishing of the quality of life for an entire family. A tiny mistake can mean $100 more per month in payment and/or depreciation. Over 15 years, this $18000 could probably be applied to some cause, couldn't it? Didn't Susie want to go to college?

Not everyone has a mistrustful nature, not everyone knows their financing options, not everyone can sense when they are watching a con-man at work. And they shouldn't have to. This is precisely the situation that consumer laws are written for, because right after 'caveat emptor' must come a societal obligation to uphold the spirit of the law as well as the law as it is written.