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Learning To Love Your Step-Kidsby Emily Bouchard Send Feedback to Emily Bouchard More Details about http://www.Blending-Families.com/ here.
When a step-mom presents this problem to me, the very first thing I do is "get" her about how frustrating the situation is for her. We explore every one of her feelings around the situation and get a sense for what irritates her nerves about the child. After doing some emotional "excavating", we then shift the main topic so we can see how the child blesses her. We explore what this kid can teach her and let her know more about herself. The most effortless strategy to receive the present that is under your nose is to ask yourself what life was like for you when you were this child's particular age. How were you feeling? What did you want from a parent/guardian at that age? What were the messages you received about how to be a wonderful child at that time? All the time we center our beliefs around thinking that it is somebody else's fault. The reality is that we have no control over how they act, and the one thing we control is how we choose to react to our circumstances. If we repeat to ourselves that the kid is belligerent, that is what we will see and react to. However, when we explain to ourselves that the kid is lonely, we will generally be more empathetic and accepting, and maybe even loving, as we help them in getting passed those things which aren't correct in their life. Do you have a person in your life who makes you feel a lot of frusteration? Take some time to sit down and fully explore for yourself how that human is a concealed diamond in your life. What can you learn from them? What are they showing you about yourself? Write a detailed description of the person. Then, with each statement, ask yourself the ways that you are treating that certain person in a similar way - maybe in your thoughts, maybe in the way you talk about them behind their back. How do you act towards that person when you think that way about them? How does it serve you to think that way about them? And, lastly, who would you be and how would you be different if you didn't think that way about them?
Emily Bouchard has created a free video explaining how to raise both children and children from different family backgrounds under the same roof. Learn her #1 secret for successfully blending families. NOTE: Use of this article requires links to be intact.
Keywords: stepchild, step parent, love, annoyed, pain, emotion, help, behave, act, teach This article has been viewed 19 time(s).
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The Strength of Humility Develop a heart of humility toward life and your family. If you mess up, genuinely admit your sorrow and ask for forgiveness. The men with the strongest family relationships are those strong enough to say, "I'm sorry. Will you please forgive me?"
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