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building stronger relationships The Key to Understanding Anyone's Perspective
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Imagine with me for a moment that you are standing amidst a group of people who are observing a sunset. Before you is a beautiful landscape -- a lush valley with assorted trees in bloom and a mountain range. The sun is setting in a sweeping display behind the mountain range and all these people have gathered to watch it.

Each of the people in the crowd is wearing glasses. Some glasses are tinted red, others blue, red, yellow, grey or black. The people begin to comment about the sunset. One person says, "Don't you just love that red sunset?"

His companion wearing blue-tinted glasses answers, "It's not red, it's blue."

"No, it's not!" says the first. "It's clearly red. Look at all those beautiful shades of red."

"Both of you are wrong," sneers another. "It's a bright yellow, almost like noon day."

"Yellow? Where in the world do you get yellow out of that?" cries a woman wearing green glasses.

Before long, the people have clumped into groups based on the color of their glasses. They start pointing at the other groups, "Those people over there think the sunset is blue. They are such liars. It's clearly red!"

"Now, they aren't lying," soothes the green group. "They just aren't seeing all of the green. Blue is very close to green, you see. So they aren't lying, they're just not seeing the full effect. The real liars are those people over there who say it's all dark and black!"

"No," cries the yellow group. "You're all wrong. It's a sunny day. You're all crazy. As for those poor people seeing it dark and black, well they are just blind. We should feel sorry for them."

So the debate continues. Finally, the sunset is over and they each return to their homes. A man named Bob (wearing yellow-tinted glasses) slips into bed beside his wife Lori (who wears blue-tinted glasses). Bob describes the sunset to Lori and the next day she passes along the information to a friend named Mary. As she describes the yellow-tinted sunset through her blue-lens perspective, Mary assumes the sunset was green (blue plus yellow makes green). In fact, it's very green because Mary happens to wear green glasses.

Mary then passes along to Sue that the sunset last night was green. Sue says, "Oh, no it wasn't! It was yellow!"

"No, it was green," Mary retorts. "Bob was there and he said it was green. Lori told me. It was clearly green."

"You're lying! Bob said it was yellow last night!" exclaims Sue.

"Well, Bob must be a two-faced liar," Mary exclaims.

Thus, it continues, Mary and Sue get so mad at each other they won't have anything to do with each other anymore. In fact, the whole town is in an uproar because each person sides with one group or another and calls the others duped, mistaken or downright liars.

Who's telling the truth? None of them. Yet none of them are lying either. In reality, God created the sunset with subtle purples, violets, blues, reds, yellows, oranges, and shafts of white light. God placed all the colors of the rainbow in the sunset for the crowd's enjoyment.

Yet, they could only see what their lenses allowed them. None was lying. They all saw what they said they saw. They all believed it to be the way they perceived it. However, these perceptions were only relative truth – tainted by the tint of their individual lenses.

This story reminds me of Jesus' admonition, "Judge not that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote (splinter) that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam (two-by-four) that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye." (Matthew 7:1-5)

In other words, don't judge people who wear yellow glasses because you're probably wearing another color yourself! First, take off your glasses before you start judging others or even before helping them see the sunset. Personally, I believe we're all wearing one color of glasses or another. Sure, there are moments when we remove them to rub our eyes, and we catch a glimpse of truth. But, the only One who never wears tinted glasses is God.

That's why Paul advised, "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves . . . for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." (Rom. 12:19) What right do we (who are flawed) have to seek retaliation upon another?

So the next time we hear someone describe an event or the next time we feel the urge to find fault or gossip, maybe we'll remember this little parable and know that only God sees life without glasses. The rest of us are influenced by our life circumstances, upbringing, environment and attitude. If we can remember that, I think we'll find fewer faults in others and the world will be a better place as a result.

Did you know that you were born with a powerful message that you are uniquely designed to deliver? Like a gorgeous garden around a central theme, you’re prepackaged with talent seeds to help you convey your message. Marnie Pehrson (a wife and mother of 6) has been helping people like you start online businesses and earn money from their talents since 1994. She is the author of 26 books and ebooks on such topics as How to Get More Done in a Day than Most People Accomplish in a Week and You’re Here for a Reason: Discover and Live your Purpose. Marnie loves working with entrepreneurs and helping them monetize their gifts so they can deliver their messages in ways that impact the world for good. Consider her a cultivator of soil -- a waterer of crops -- who is here to help you reap an abundant harvest! Get the first 50 pages of You’re Here for a Reason for FREE.

Contact the Author
Marnie Pehrson
Love Your Work
marnie@pwgroup.com
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