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Why do we feel we have to meet every need of every person in our family? Who said we have to be and do it all?

Enter the Proverbs 31 Lady. Love her or hate her. Her picture is bound to get on your nerves at some time or another.

There's this subconscious need to "be like her if you're going to be a Christian". Often accompanied by an overwhelming sense of not measuring up. Who was this woman anyway?

I honestly have to laugh when I read Proverbs 31:10. "Who can find a virtuous woman?" it begins. Sounds like she's not your everyday three-leafed clover. You have to look hard to find her.

And Solomon, owner of the world's largest harem, seemed to have looked for a looong time. After hundreds of women he still asks, "Who can find . . . " That cracks me up.

Cultural differences mandate closer inspection of the Scriptural principles. We could never be exactly like this lady. Can you imagine this dinner conversation?

"What'd you do today, Honey?"
"Well, Sweet Husband, I've been considering this field, and today I bought it. Four hundred fifty acres of prime farmland."
"That's nice, Dear."

That's some big cookie jar she's been stashing!

Let's consider the inner qualities of Mrs. Proverbs 31.

This wife is
1) trustworthy
2) hardworking
3) generous and sensitive to the needy

She
1) takes care of her family's need for food
2) works to provide for her family
3) speaks with wisdom and kindness
4) watches over her household

If we ponder these principles, the legalism that often creeps along side us fades. Legalism assumes this woman...
1) has a spotless house -- (Okay, she had maidservants, so maybe this one is true)
2) makes every meal from scratch
3) never throws out a Cool Whip container
4) doesn't groan when she gets up off the floor
5) merely smiles, and her children rush to obey

Let's be realistic. Assuming one can find this virtuous woman, she first of all is human. Imperfect.

She has hormones and cycles and will go through menopause. Sometimes she sticks her foot in her mouth and wishes she could takes back hurtful comments. She will occasionally cry for no reason at all. The Proverbs 31 Lady has bad hair days and sometimes gets up on the wrong side of the bed. The same children who "rise and call her blessed" know not to cross her on these days.

This lady also loves her family and provides for their needs. She listens and hugs and gives kisses and bandaids. When a neighbor is ill, she takes over a casserole and talks awhile. She trains her children to do what's right and teaches them about God. She's honest and tries to keep gossip out of the conversation. She learns by falling and then getting back up.

Wiping noses and bottoms and cleaning up more messes than she creates is part of the portrait. Maybe she is worn out and has to depend on the help of others while battling cancer. She may have a chemical imbalance and have to take an anti-depressant.

She's real.

How do we become virtuous? Jesus reveals the way when He says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength." "Love your neighbor as yourself." "Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you."

Only through daily surrender and seeking Him can it happen. Using our own strength is futile. Giving our day to Jesus . . . asking Him to help us love Him and others . . . you and I can do that.

The Proverbs 31 Lady isn't so intimidating after all.

Maybe she doesn't have to be that hard to find.