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Parenting Activity: Use These 3 Time Out Twists
When my boys were growing up, I used T.O. often. If they sassed, snuck out to play without doing their chores, or fought with each other, they went to T.O. First, I’ll describe T.O. Then I’ll add my 3 special twists.
Place your child in a boring room (no TV, computers, or toys.)
1. I sent my sons to the bathroom floor.
One of my sons would look in the bathroom mirror while crying. The sight of himself in tears made him feel sorry for himself and encouraged him to cry even more. He’d see himself as the victim of a mean mom – me. Sitting on the floor put a stop to that. After all, he was there to think about what he had done.
By telling me why they were sent to T.O., they were admitting what they had done wrong. Usually, I’d say, “Yes,” and they were free to go. Sometimes I’d have to bite my tongue to stop the lectures from tumbling out.
If they needed more consequences besides T.O., I tried to make the consequence fit the crime. Here are some:
1. No bike for a week if they snuck out to ride it without doing their chores.
If you want to parent without arguments, listen to your children take responsibility for their behaviors, and, if you are willing to be consistent, consider using Time Out with my 3 twists. If you do, you’ll have a happier household, a more peaceful household, and you’ll be building character too.
Are you tired of arguing with your kids? Do you wish your kids would take responsibility for their actions? Here’s an easy way. Let’s find out about Time Out (T.O.) using my 3 special twists. You can easily use them with kids from ages 3 to 11 years old.
Use Time Out when your child misbehaves:
Use a timer and set one minute for each year of your child's age.
For example, wind the timer to 3 minutes for a 3 year-old and 9 minutes for a 9 year- old.
Calm yourself down and think wisely while your child is in T.O.
Let your child out of T.O. when the timer buzzes.
Don't lecture. Your child won't listen anyway.
My Three Time Out Twists:
2. When either son came out of T.O., he had to tell me why he was sent there. If he said, "I dunno," I sent him back.
3. When either son was in T.O., I'd calm myself down and decide whether his behavior deserved something more than T.O. If it did, I'd tell him, "This is serious. I need more time to think about further consequences." Why the bathroom floor?
How did they take responsibility?
What extra consequences did they get?
2. Apologize if they said something mean.
3. Write or draw what happened and how they could have handled it better.
Jean Tracy, MSS, publishes a Free Parenting Newsletter. Subscribe at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids.
Subscribe to Jean Tracy's blog at http://parentingskillsblog.typepad.com and pick up a new tip with each post.
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Keywords: Parenting Activity, Time Out, Character Building, Responsibility,Consequences for Children
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